This is interesting, although not terribly accurate. When I write men, I write like a man; when I write women, I write like a woman. Which is a good thing, I guess, for realism, but not so much for subversion. Hrmmmph. *immediately sets about deconstructing her writing*

(It's pretty close to androgynous most of the time, mind you, but... well, I'm not sure I agree with their word choices.)

Original || Comment ||

I think... I think I actually want to work on something.

This is the first time I've felt like this in months.

I... I don't know what to work on, but the desire to do work, to create, is there.



Fuck, I've missed this. :D

Original || Comment ||

I'm not sure how many of you have seen Elizabeth Gilbert talking about creative genius, but I saw it a while back and didn't comment, and one of the guys at work brought it to my attention again tonight on Twitter, so I guess I want to hash out my own thoughts on it and find out what you all think, since most of you are my first port of call when it comes to writing feedback and assistance.

( I will cut this, though, because I think I've ranted at incorrigible public length enough for one evening. I DO NOT IMAGINE THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS IS ALL OPINION, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF AVOIDING SNOOTY COMMENTS: IMHO. )

So that's the rant. I'd appreciate slightly saner commentary, since we all know how I get when I'm excited. I want to know what your creativity-inducing triggers are.

Triggers:
MUSIC → Must be regular of beat, remain within a certain pitch range, and connect in some way with the tone of what I am writing. This is why my playlist for The Conductor is more successful in getting me to work than any other playlist — it's very flat and straightforward, which fits Ash's mentality very well.
SOLITUDE → If pressed, I can write with people around, but particularly for story-writing, I have to be in a corner where I can see everyone and no one can be reading over my shoulder. Music comes in here, too, since it helps isolate my brain from whatever is going on around me.
NIGHT → No matter what I try to do with my schedule, I always write my best between 10pm and 2am. I have done, and am doing, my best to alter this, but my head works better at night, probably because at night I feel like I'm just dicking about with words and there's no pressure.
PRESSURE → Conversely, pressure helps because it means that the writing (or other creative endeavour) is the most important thing around. Nothing tops it, therefore nothing has the right to encroach on your focus upon it.
COLD FEET → No, seriously. I find it difficult to write when I have warm feet. They give me an uncomfortableness.
TEA → Not that I can't write without it, but that I have made tea a ritual that lets me focus on my work: I make it, bring it back to my desk, and get in a good five or ten minutes of intense concentration before it's of a drinkable temperature. (And then, if I'm lucky, forget all about it because I'm concentrating too hard on what I'm doing to be concerned with things like tea. Pfah!)
WRITING → Writing this rant helped me focus, because I was trying to prove a point. Perhaps I should make a point of writing semi-structured mini-essays before I sit down to write for AtM et al! We'll see if I can come up with a list of topics to rant about. Let me know if you have any ideas, eh?

That's all I can think of at present. Come and chatter with me, o flist, and yea, also you lurkers of the night. I am less aggressive than the rant would have you believe, especially now that it is 11.22pm and I am kind of tired and cold and ranted out.

[EDIT] And on this note, I want to replace this icon, since it does not actually reflect my views. I'd rather go with sometimes my brain is doing things I don't even know about, because that is certainly truer than I'm just the writer.

Writing complete first drafts is like saving money. Saving money is like writing complete first drafts.

Fuuuuuuuuck. XD;

I am beginning to think I decide whether days are going to be good or bad depending entirely on whether I have wildly awesome story ideas in the shower.

I need crayons and a bigger pane of glass to plot with, dammit. Condensation doesn't last. XD

Right. Okay. 2k+ from an evening of Tina threatening to take away things she is going to draw/write for me. I can finally throw away this sheaf of notes, which is so old and abused that the paper feels like cotton. And I am feeling fabulous.

Unfortunately I am not feeling sleepy.

We should do this more often, Tina, darling. That was only, what, two hours' writing? We only did about twelve ten minute sessions, I think. In any case: feeling productive = kicking the oh god I suck bawwww in the stomach and dumping it in the river while it tries to get its breath back.

...can you tell I wrote Rook for most of the evening? XD

Now, to bed. Or at least, to reading before bed, since I am distinctly unexhausted.

( I just had to run from my kitchen to my bedroom to get this down. )

You now know as much as I do. ._. What the hell.

So, I just realised that I had a working writing process. For years. And then I forgot about it. Now I'm going to write it down so I never do anything so fucking stupid ever again.

WRITING PROCESS:
1) On Day One, write stuff on paper. Preferably somewhere you have no computer access.
2) On Day Two (which should directly follow Day One), type Day One's handwritten stuff up. This reminds you of where you are going, and lets you sentence-tweak.
3) Also on Day Two, having reminded yourself of what happened yesterday, write more stuff on paper!
4) Continue!

Note to self: try to give yourself a brief break (perhaps with plotting) between typing stuff up and writing more stuff, because otherwise your hands will die on you.




I don't know why this took me so long to realise. This is how EVERYTHING I HAVE FINISHED has been written. Grey Sky Morning. Uh. Other stu-- okay, everything I wrote to a SCHEDULE THAT I FOLLOWED has been written like this. I knew there had to be a reason for the proliferation of notebooks! Aside from my lack of self-control. I am pretty sure F&F fell apart when I stopped following this process AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY.

REJOICE, FOR THIS IS A JOYOUS DAY.

1) You know you're a writer when you discover a pen in your makeup case.

2) Would someone tell me how/why I have at least three containers of silver eyeshadow?

So I have written a total of 412 words on AtM in the last four days.

I thought I was doing REALLY WELL until I knew that.

I suppose this is the ultimate moment of quality vs. quantity.

STILL. FOUR HUNDERD LOUSY WORDS?

GAH.

Hiru has decided the first line of AtM is now, His thighs were sticky with blood.

ME: Are you sure you want to get into this so early?
HIRU: Yes.
ME: It'll save me setup later, but are you sure? Really? You're okay with this?
HIRU: *eyeroll*
HIRU: It Is What Must Be Done.
ME: ... ♥ ♥ Can you write the story all the time?
HIRU: Don't be stupid. I'm doing my nails.

So yeah every night this week I should have two hours to write shit, minimum.

And I'm going to write shit.

I'm not going to ask for prompts, because fuck knows I've taken enough of those recently, but if I don't post something either here or on happenstance before 10.30pm every night including Friday, I want heckling to occur, people. HECKLING. In true Tina-meets-Seme-sama style.

Not writing is making me scared to write. Also miserable. And being miserable because you're not doing something that scares you is maybe the height of retardedness.

More LGBTfest recs! And holy shit, guys, it's Monday tomorrow and I'm working! What faggotry is this?

♥ ♥ ♥Counting - Firefly, Jayne/Simon <-- one of my favourite Sine fics ever, and yes, I did just decide that Jayne/Simon was called Sine. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

♥ ♥ ♥ Fire - Firefly, Simon/Kaylee

♥ ♥ ♥ Its Own Kind of Chase - Sherlock Holmes, Holmes

Blood of Salmacis - Greek Mythology, Hermaphroditos, Thanatos

Like the Doors of My House - xxxHOLiC, Doumeki/Watanuki

---

Note to self: the high end of the 'dumb things writers do' list contains the line that goes stop writing for extended periods of time. I doubt it is a coincidence that the only time I have not felt miserable today was the hour and a half I spent feeding the plot snake. This is here to remind me of this tomorrow night when I get home from work, so here's a to do list for tomorrow:

- go to work
- heyyy capoeira *clap-turn*
- walk home from work (arr. home ~6.20pm)
- eat food
- write shit, you stupid fucker

"Giving the reader a sex scene which is only half right is like giving her half of a kitten. It is not half as cute as a whole kitten: it is a bloody, godawful mess."

( That quote is totally irrelevant except in terms of sheer pedantic detail. This cut is more about WHY I HATE WRITING F&F. Or rather, why I hate myself. )





[EDIT]

And then I say to myself, while rubbing my eyes and squinting over scene breaks, "So, for this bit, I really need to feel more like... America."

Bea Arthur is dead. T_T The woman was amazing. *raises a mug to her*

Today I can actually start character sheeting for stepstepjump! The image I have in my head involves flat colours a la the FFX designs, but given Xolotl I am not sure how well that will work. XD; We shall see!





....oh my god, I was so excited about starting this and my plot snake that I actually forgot to get dressed. |D;

[EDIT] ....so I may still be unclothed, having distracted myself with the internet. >_>;

Also, am inexplicably feeling the need for some Dita von Teese. This is not altogether common. Perhaps Ash is in denial again.

I DON'T WRITE ENOUGH. MAKE ME WRITE SHIT.

Stolen from ever-obsessed@LJ: For those unfamiliar, first you pick a letter. Then you pick a fandom (or a crossover) and a character or pairing. For example, A is for Anxiety, Cal/Gillian (Lie to Me). In turn you'll receive a ficlet of some kind. Maybe, there'll even be PORN.

( Alphabetically. )

DO THIS, GUYS.

Pick ANY character of mine and I will tell you their:

01. Full name
02. Best friend
03. Sexuality
04. Favorite color
05. Relationship status
06. Ideal mate
07. Turn-ons
08. Last sexual experience
09. Favorite food
10. Crushes
11. Favorite music
12. Biggest fear
13. Biggest fantasy
14. Quirks in bed
15. Bad habits
16. Biggest regret
17. Best kept secrets
18. Last thought
19. Worst sexual/romantic experience
20. Biggest insecurity


YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. I'll even cross them out as we go.

( Characters. )

Watchmen was... amazing. But not the kind of movie everyone would enjoy, I think. For myself... I could have done without some stuff, but only to make it into a different kind of movie, and only to alter its purpose significantly. I think they did well. It was heartbreaking.

It was so good to see Emma again. ^^ We chatted over dinner about loads of things. I think after the movie I was probably a little space-age and awkward because ...well, it was thought-provoking. Also, I realised about halfway through that ...well, my fae aren't sociopathic enough. And I was trying to work out a way to make them less human and still human enough to relate to.

(Sanga is so much easier to do this with.)

[EDIT] ...and although I know this is tonally inappropriate for the film, I did keep expecting Rorschach's mask to make emoticon faces at humourously opportune moments. There were several moments which called for a wry D:.

Okay, so, today, doctor.
Tomorrow, Wyrr + MY LOVELY DAUGHTER ADFHDS. :'DDDDDDD
Saturday, Audition + Babysitting.
Sunday to Tuesday, work.
Wednesday to Friday, Dad's place, remembering that Tom's birthday is on Friday night.
Saturday and Sunday, hypothetically, alleyne's place.
And Monday to Wednesday, work, with choir practice hypothetically on Monday nights. dkjsf dhfajs djfhd.

I know too many people, seriously. At least there's no chance I'll be using my hands too much. XD;;;

The last few days - well, the last week, I suppose - every time I sit down, Hiru assails me. It's not so much that he's offering information; more that he's sick of this long period of quiet, too, and that he wants to get back to work (which for Hiru, guys, is some kind of fucking miracle). Auberon's been lining up to offer details. Tol has been chipping in with Sanga's mother, of all people.

I think the saying When It Rains, It Pours is missing a phrase at the end, and that phrase is, And You Never Have A Bucket.

One day I will remember which days of the week my webcomics update on, and at what times, so that I do not just spend half the day visiting them in futile hope.

Watched the first series of Black Books this afternoon while I sketched - basically just lining Sketch 20.2 from stepstepjump. I felt like writing - feel like writing - feel like working things out and getting things down, but every time I go to pick up pencil and paper I just feel vaguely sick and panicky, and also my hands hurt.

This means I have not been writing for Too Long. Writing really is like exercising; if you let it go too long, you just feel daunted and unfit and flobbly and you feel like there's no point even starting. Even though there is.

With this in mind, tomorrow I'm going to walk to New Farm Park, read Breakfast at Tiffany's, and then walk back, purely to time how long it takes for tomorrow night. I'm assuming if I leave the house at six I'll arrive with time to spare, but it is very hot and I don't want to arrive sweaty and disgusting, so I may let that slide.

In other news, I love Xolotl and drawing Xolotl. He is Entirely Too Much Fun. I think he needs a plot outside getting pregnant to a centaur, because I have a feeling there is a lot more to this world, later, that is totally unrelated to, well, everything. So there might be like. Five books. That are a series only in the way that Nightrunner is a series. Only even less than that because sometimes the same characters won't be involved. (Yes, guys, there might be books without Hiru. I KNOW YOU ARE AS SHOCKED AS I AM.)

Can you tell my head is all every which way? Good.

I am hungry, and I have to wait until mum gets home from her date because she said she would bring me Chinese.

...I love drawing Xolotl. :3 I wish I could colour him properly like I did in this icon. I know I have watercolours somewhere but I remember the last time I watercoloured and, um, there's no need for a repeat of that, really. >>

[EDIT] Look at this. :D

Now imagine from the back of your head, simultaneously:
SKEFF: Huh. Well, I never thought gears could look that pretty, but it's worthless as a charm.
TOL: *disgust* What would you do that for...? They're not doing anything...

There's no satisfying them. Incidentally, here is the rest of that drawing I started three days ago.