( And Crisis Core continues. )

Genesis had to get in one last wild plot swerve of stupidity before I cried my eyes out, and now I'm ready to just give up the ghost. Also, who decided to make the Life Materia a 'goddess materia' and - as such - not something I can actually fucking use? When we have seen exactly one Phoenix Down in the entire fucking game? Fuck off, Squeenix, you already made the cutscenes unbearable and unskippable - there's no need to make battling Malboro more traumatic than it needs to be.

(On the bright side, cave gargoyles seem to have lost their L4 Death ability, for which I am profoundly grateful. |D; Poor Vincent could never catch a break with those things; it didn't matter what his level was divisible by.)

[EDIT]

It is two in the morning. I am getting up at seven. Do the math, then tell me why I do this to myself. AUGH.

You never realise how much Tori Amos music you have collected over the years until you burn it all for someone else. |D; Eight full CDs' worth of Tori for Xanthe? Check. I feel slightly obsessive, but only slightly. I have done worse, I am sure.

Found a song by Newton Faulkner for mum this evening, and his music is actually pretty nice. A little easy-listening for my usual tastes, but varied enough that I think I could stand to listen to it for longer than five minutes at a time.

Anyway, I think my goal is basically to level-grind in Crisis Core until midnight. XD; Damn Sephiroth and his damn madness-enhanced ability to be awesome. *shakes fist*

[EDIT]

Sometimes I read a bit of Yuffie!voice that I don't remember writing and I laugh and laugh. XD Yuffie!voice, you are funny. Never go away.

Suffered my first defeat at the hands of Sephiroth a few hours ago, and it was less glorious than it could have been. *sigh* He's not as awesome as he should be... and he still beat me hands-down. XD How's that for a mark of sheer awesome? The first battle wasn't an issue, but the second one... ahahaha, I need higher attack power so that he doesn't kill me dead. And possibly to equip that Vital Slash materia at some point. XD;

Also, Neek, THIS MASHUP IS AMAZING. :DDDDDDD Brick by Ben Folds' Five melded with Manic Monday by the Bangles = a mashup that was made to be. The backgrounds are perfect for each other, although I think the actual singing is a little busy. XD But it's awesome. Also, Billy Joel. :DDDDD (Except that Sanga has appropriated "River of Dreams". XD; DAMMIT, SANGA.)

( Songs for Squeaker! )

So... omg... I am so tired... I can hardly keep my eyes open... but... but, Nibelheim....!!!

Oh, who am I kidding. I'm not awake enough to have the emotional fortitude to deal with Nibelheim. |D; Instead, I will scribble down the thoughts I had re. AtM at work, and collapse into bed as soon as my goddamn sheets are dry. *shakes fist* This is what I get for washing my bath mats at the same time.

---

Pretty much immediately after typing that, Tetsu died so hard that not even Bruce Willis could have saved him. :( My poor baby is getting old. *pets him*

I really was exhausted - I went to bed at eleven and didn't get up until nine, and I'm still feeling kind of mrrgh, but this is okay because I did work a little bit on AtM last night - by which I mean that I scribbled down whatever came into my head, part of which was actually bits of Cloud and Tifa characterisation for F&F. XD Speaking of whom, today... today, Nibelheim. *deep breaths* If I am not sobbing out my lungs by late this afternoon... well, then the final chapter of the game is longer than I thought it'd be, or I'm playing much more slowly. XD;

[EDIT]

ALSO. GUYS. FOR PONY!

Please Visit This! (NSFW) Sign up and hit 'digg it' so that I get more Looking for Group movie clips, please! (You do not need to actually watch the attached YouTube video if you don't want to.)

;_; Please to be pimping! 3000 diggs = clip of the LFG movie! IT HAS RICHARD. RICHARD SINGS ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

Usually I would be against this give me popularity and I will give you more stuff thing, but... Richard! Cale! Sooba! ;_;

Also, for the record, it is fucking cold today. XD;

I've finally discovered why I hate Hollander so much, and also why I've been making GET TO THE CHOPPERRRRR jokes so much: Hollander sounds like Guts' VA imitating Ahnold.

Also, OMG I AM UP TO NIBELHEIM, JKHDYFSHD. SEPHIROTH LAUGHING = ULTIMATE AWESOME, OMFGGgggggggasdkjhfdjfkahs. Um. Um. I really should not play this part before I go to work, because I am liable to burst into tears from sheer hysteria, or worse yet make it up to the part where Zack dies (LOL SPOILER :D) just before I'm due at work. |D; That would not be half embarrassing.

Also, omg, Zack's words to Tseng before he leaves. asdjhfas. ♥ ♥ ♥ Also, bless Cloud and every hair on his pretty little Chocobo head. X3

(This is not cut because, well, there doesn't seem to be much point. If you have no idea of the plot from this point and you care, then you really shouldn't be playing the game.)

I feel sort of weird using this Tseng icon more than a Sephiroth or an Aeris icon for this game, but I guess this is a more accurate depiction of how I feel about the entire affair. XD; Thoroughly enjoyable gameplay, but just... well, ridiculous most-else. XD;;;

Dear Tseng,

Between the porcine hairstyle and the mako glow to my eyes, you may have noticed that I Am Not A Ninja. There is also the fact that I am wearing black in an area laid thick with snow, and this may also alert you to the fact that I Am Not A Ninja.

You are a Turk! I am only marginally better than Chocobo-Head over there by virtue of not being bright yellow! Go break into your own fucking warehouse! I have degrees in ass-kicking and puppy eyes, not stealth!

Currently hating you all over your pretty fucking face,
and also Not A Ninja,
Zack.

---

I hate infiltration missions.

I am actually more stealthy as Cait Sith while knocking explosive barrels down stairs than I am as Zack. THIS IS SOMEWHAT HUMILIATING. I guess the question is whether I want the items enough to keep buggering around until I get this right. (And there's materia involved, so you know I do. Also, I don't want to disappoint Tseng by losing the supplies. ;_; DAMN CHARACTERS WITH A HOLD ON MY LOYALTY. DAMN THEM.)

Also - and this is the first time I've ever felt moved to say this, so brace yourselves accordingly - Cloud is so. fucking. cute. And it's the kind of cute which makes me simultaneously want to pick him up and carry him around, and to steal his helmet and shove snow down the back of his uniform.

[EDIT]

No, seriously, Tseng, go fuck a ten gil whore. :( My loyalty to your pretty, pretty eyes is not this deep.

Dear members of the Silver Elite:
In this update we present another piece of Sephiroth trivia - the secrets to his beautiful long hair. The hair products he uses are of the highest grade, made and supplied by the Shinra Company. He seems to use one whole bottle of both shampoo and conditioner every time he washes his hair. They are scented with thirteen kinds of perfume, including Rose and Vanilla.
Apparently, the scent in the air after Sephiroth tosses his hair changes daily!

I just joined a Sephiroth fanclub and this game is going to kill me.

( More Crisis Core, cut not so much for spoilers as for near constant attempts to hit on Sephiroth. )

I shouldn't refer exclusively to apples in the subject line; they actually haven't been mentioned for a while - I think because they wanted to make a thorough job of butchering Aeris. I'm actually sickened by what they've done to her, and I never even liked her all that much. I'm not even going to go into it. I ranted to ignite about it, and I'm not going to give myself an ulcer by going again.

....yes, I have totally done other things today. I have... I've eaten. I've showered. And I've put the washing on. There! Produdfctititty at its finest.

[EDIT] Hey, awesome, it's only half-three! I can play for another two hours, easily! 8DDDDDD

...or I could do some writing, I guess. >_>;

[EDIT] FUCK YES PHYSICAL UPGRADE FROM HOJO = GET.

(HE LOCKED ME IN A TANK. THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER.)

( Further thoughts on Crisis Core. )

I'm... probably going to bed soon. Probably. Mostly because I know I have to work tomorrow night, though, and that if I don't get some sleep tonight I'm probably going to fall asleep on the meat slicer.

So much for my goal of 750 words/day. |D; Oh, fandom. How you stymie me!

( Impressions of Crisis Core so far. )

[EDIT]

( Other thoughts, in order of coherence. )

Wordles are fun, but I don't quite know why Grandfather should be one of the biggest words on mine. XD;

Anyway, today was actually great fun, PSoH aside. XD I still haven't picked up Crisis Core because now I am afraid. But Maddie and Wyrr and I wandered the city and chatted and bought things, and I watched them go bowling because I'm too pansy to fuck up my hands when not totally necessary, and it was good fun. XD We came back to my place a little before five and chatted some more, and I gave Maddie Saiunkoku Monogatari and Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann, both of which are things I should really watch/rewatch at some point soon, and then they went off to see Edward Scissorhands in... play or musical form, I can't remember, and I read PSoH and twitched a lot and also rediscovered my guilty love for Wu Fei.

Now I'm going to make some more tea, get into my pajamas, and sit down to cry/thrash/glee over Crisis Core, because I may as well get all my pain over with before I go to bed tonight.

(Not that I'm expecting to finish it in three hours, but three hours is probably enough to determine whether I can bear to play the rest.)

Just got up. Exhausted. Whyyyyyyy. What happened to the sleeping? The sleeping was good. It lasted like two whole days...

On the bright side, I did have a dream about being Papa D. That was kind of awesome. And by 'kind of awesome' I mean 'I was living with Count D and he was not deathly afraid of me so it was wildly AU and we wandered around the house together and it was FUCKING AWESOME YO.' I/He got a hug. It was kind of epic. As in, in the back of my head I could hear myself going OH MY GOD THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AND YET YOU/WE ARE ACTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL, THIS AU IS SO. COOL. :'D I have no idea where Sofu was and at this point I DON'T CARE because Leon was in the house and I/Papa wasn't trying to kill him and it was lame and AWESOME.

C-can we tell PSOH is sort of on my mind at this point? :3 I am waiting eagerly for my email. Even though it's definitely not in until Thursday, like Crisis Core. Eee hee hee hee hee hee hee. ♥ Although I'm actually having difficulty deciding which I should tackle first (PSOH is the logical answer, but hear me out) purely because I am going to spend a lot of time yelling at both of them. PSOH is guaranteed to be a shorter stab of pain, but I think I can safely say that for the last year or so I've been more into PSOH, so I will probably rant for comparatively longer. XD Although since I definitely won't be finishing Crisis Core inside a day, I suppose I'll be breaking it up into short, manageable chunks of impotent rage.

Anyway. Fandom talk having woken me up a little more, I'm going to shower and then go study in the living room or something. Somewhere I am far away from Hoshi no Yakata because otherwise I will download and read it all today and that would be bad.

For the record, Hoshi no Yakata is a gay BDSM manga, which I discovered through... hmm... fandom secrets, I think. There is a character who is the most smoking male I think I have ever seen and is essentially D only more muscular and in leather. Do not ask me why I find this attractive. Not my thing at all. But this character? Is the only character that I have ever stopped and gone WHOA HOT at based on image alone. XD So naturally I had to research the fandom! Find the series! It has taken me months, but I got it. 8DDD And since I started reading it I have actually begun to flail a little over the rest of the characters, too. Sumiya = ♥. Angry, sadistic ♥. :3

In any case, you can download it from Game Over or Continue? if you are interested. :D It's under Projects > Completed > Hoshi no Yakata.

[EDIT] *criiiiiiiies* Barbara-senseeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisjjhfakjfhsj

;_______; Sh-she allocated me to the Tuesday class.

So now I have one thing really early Monday morning....... and then nothing for the rest of the day. Wryyyyyyyyyyysa,mdfhadfasdjfsdfkasldf. T_T;;;; I knew I should have sent a specific request email.

Japanese exam was fine except that I totally forgot how to say, "I like ___ because _____." FORTUNATELY THIS IS WHAT READING SUKI IS FOR: IT IS ON THE BOARD AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY CHAPTER. AHAHAHAHA.

(That said, what I wrote was probably entirely ungrammatical. XD NOT THE POINT. The point is, sometimes CLAMP saves us in addition to stabbing us in the heart.)

Lunch with Rage was fun! We found out that Crisis Core is due out June 19. I HAD A BRIEF PANIC ATTACK AND DROPPED TO MY KNEES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOODCOURT BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO PICK IT UP, BUT IT'S OKAY, I WAS JUST BEING RETARDED AND PANICKING WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT HOW THE CALENDAR ACTUALLY WORKS. :D; This is two days after my final exam! I can see people... and then I can lock myself in my room to howl in fury at what they have done to my fandom! I CANNOT LOSE. :D

Unfortunately I have work in ten minutes.TWO UNTIL TEN. WHAT IS THIS FULL SHIFT NONSENSE. NEEK I NEARLY FORGOT ABOUT YOUR BOOKS; WHERE IS MY SMS THAT I TOLD YOU WAS UNNECESSARY. >_>

♥ ♥ ♥

EVER SO SLIGHTLY HYPER AT THE MOMENT, CLEARLY.

Man, this is why I should not be allowed to get stressed: when I cease to be stressed I am very abruptly terrifying.

Alarm set for half-seven. Felt like a zombie, so went back to sleep until half-nine. Still feel like a zombie, but cannot afford to sleep any longer, so. Shower. Then... I think I'll spend the day upstairs in the television room, so I can't hear James and also cannot use the internet.

Proof that I should do this really quickly: today's PA made me shriek in wordless something about materia and now I am even less coherent than I was as a zombie. MATERIA, MATERIA, MATERIA~ :DDDDDDD I forgot all about materia as a good reason to play Crisis Core but I get to use materia again! X3333333 FAVOURITE. BATTLE SYSTEM. EVER. \o/

God, when is it being released here? *hunts* WHAT. JULYYYYYYYYYYSdhmfankjfdyufajmavcjdgfswhy do you hate ussssssssnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ;A;

[EDIT] I am in despair. Reading Crisis Core's plot notes has left me in despair.

Dear Gackt/'Genesis',

GTFO MY FANDOM.

And Square? QUIT FUCKING SHIT UP.

No love,
Rave.



There are just no words. ;A; B-but I get to go to Wutai. During the war. I get to go to Wutai during the war and meet with Yuffie. And see Sephiroth reading a newspaper. I will just ignore all hints of red in the fucking game and the world will be a happier place. Yes.

When I get Crisis Core I am going to weep like a small, distraught child. When I've played it, I mean. I just. Oh, god. "Why" makes me cry all by itself, and has for months. The base melody of these tracks is really, really lovely.

That was the entire point of this post until I read today's Looking for Group and was forced to make this icon.

There is also the still version:


I love Richard. I love Richard a lot. What is it with me and cheerful psychopaths?

[EDIT] FUCK DAMMIT SEPHIROTH, STOP FALLING OVER. YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK.

(My figurines fall over a lot. This particular figurine is meant to be the ultimate soldier. OH, WAIT. *headdesk*)

I just watched Little Miss Sunshine for the first time and came away wanting to read more about Dwayne and Frank. ( Belated thoughts. )

I knew Yuletide wouldn't fail me, but it looks like the rest of the internet has. :( Any idea where I can find fic, guys? I know it's an atypical fandom, but they were interesting people and I liked them both a lot.

[EDIT]

Also, thoughts on the Crisis Core soundtrack thus far are that... well, there are a lot of tracks with a nice sound to them. I adore the acoustic and slightly CW twang; it fits Zack very well. My only problem with it is that it's way, way too repetitive.

( Apparently I get a little preachy about some of my favourite game music! XD )

In essence, I like the Zack twang, but I think Ishimoto-san needs to learn when less is more... and when more is needed.

[EDIT] Whoops, my bad: "The World's Enemy" is actually Toyama Kazuhiko's fault, not Ishimoto's.